Unending Sounds

Beauty abounding.

Christmas bells chiming.

All is well at the passing of yesteryear.

Love’s been lost.

Possibilities found.

Curiosity still unquenched.

Books to read.

Music to learn.

The unending sounds of joy to come.

Family all around.

Friends staying close.

The time has come for all to celebrate.

Christmas time is almost here.

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Today

Today, I look outside,

my pondering heart full

of questions and dreams.

How can I pursue my goals

in life more aptly?

Often, it is easy to get swept away

in one thing or another.

I am held back by my body

from being able to push in full force.

Yet, there must be more I can do…

Scores of music littering my brain,

sitting precisely on the piano,

hankering to be studied.

Books of historical and theoretical fact,

wanting to be summarized.

Early mornings soaring past

during my slumber.

Am I doing my best?

Truly?

My utmost of the past few weeks

has been well attended to…

Right now,

a new phase is upon me.

I cannot do what I wish to do,

but I can do more than

I have been able to,

figuring it all out

is part of today’s plan.

Love of Bach

I love Bach so much…I started playing his music 17 years ago, and it still touches me in a way that no other composer is able to…It is intellectual and every time I am learning one of his works, I feel like I’m solving a puzzle for the mind and my fingers. I’ve played his Toccata in E minor, multiple preludes and fugues, almost all of the inventions, and 2 of his piano concertos. Presently working on another of Bach’s toccatas. Emotionally, his music goes directly to the depths of my soul. Whenever I’m putting together a program for a recital, I often have to put a piece by Bach on it…or it feels incomplete.

Thoughts On My Dreams

My dreams, hopes, wishes, desires, all mingle and intertwine together into wanting to be a pianist who travels the world and performs. This has been my desire since I first read about Bach and Beethoven as a small child. I wanted to be them. Live their lives, but as a girl of course. Now, that I’m older, I’ve realized that  I still have the same dreams as I did when I was young. There is a purpose for each person on the planet. We were created with a burning passion in our souls. Mine involves a piano and my hands. I am a pianist. It is not my only identity, but it is such a big part of who I am. Being held back by relationships is not something that will happen again.

I will live my dream.

It is too difficult to focus on the goals in one’s heart when another person is at the forefront of your mind. The piano is my other half, for at least several years. My purpose will not be thwarted, I will continue on.

The funny thing is that right after I get out of a relationship, I feel so free, my soul soars, and I dream.

I will not allow someone into my heart that dumbs down my dream or makes it less important in my mind.

Friendships are vital but I do not want a significant other right now.

I am happy.

I am free.

Breathing in the fresh air.

One day, maybe I’ll meet someone who does not take my energy from my dream but instead imparts it.

Spin in a circle and feel alive.

I Wish You Beauty

Care about you I do,

but not in the way you would wish me to…

Times have changed,

we will not be in the same place of life again.

I am sorry,

truly I am.

However, I will not apologize for living my life

as I see fit.

I wish you beauty.

Joy.

Happiness.

When you find that new person,

your confidante,

I pray it be your one.

For it is not me.