I love Bach so much…I started playing his music 17 years ago, and it still touches me in a way that no other composer is able to…It is intellectual and every time I am learning one of his works, I feel like I’m solving a puzzle for the mind and my fingers. I’ve played his Toccata in E minor, multiple preludes and fugues, almost all of the inventions, and 2 of his piano concertos. Presently working on another of Bach’s toccatas. Emotionally, his music goes directly to the depths of my soul. Whenever I’m putting together a program for a recital, I often have to put a piece by Bach on it…or it feels incomplete.
My dreams, hopes, wishes, desires, all mingle and intertwine together into wanting to be a pianist who travels the world and performs. This has been my desire since I first read about Bach and Beethoven as a small child. I wanted to be them. Live their lives, but as a girl of course. Now, that I’m older, I’ve realized that I still have the same dreams as I did when I was young. There is a purpose for each person on the planet. We were created with a burning passion in our souls. Mine involves a piano and my hands. I am a pianist. It is not my only identity, but it is such a big part of who I am. Being held back by relationships is not something that will happen again.
I will live my dream.
It is too difficult to focus on the goals in one’s heart when another person is at the forefront of your mind. The piano is my other half, for at least several years. My purpose will not be thwarted, I will continue on.
The funny thing is that right after I get out of a relationship, I feel so free, my soul soars, and I dream.
I will not allow someone into my heart that dumbs down my dream or makes it less important in my mind.
Friendships are vital but I do not want a significant other right now.
I am happy.
I am free.
Breathing in the fresh air.
One day, maybe I’ll meet someone who does not take my energy from my dream but instead imparts it.
Spin in a circle and feel alive.
Care about you I do,
but not in the way you would wish me to…
Times have changed,
we will not be in the same place of life again.
I am sorry,
truly I am.
However, I will not apologize for living my life
as I see fit.
I wish you beauty.
When you find that new person,
I pray it be your one.
For it is not me.
Looking outside, I see a new day emerging.
I hear the chipper of birds, the whooshing of cars, and the leaves beginning to fall.
There’s a pressing need to move by people, coupled by the fluttering of a normal day for the birds.
Hush, hush, do you hear the wind?
I see the branches blowing.
The smell of autumn tantalizing the senses.
What do you think?
Is it near?
Hold your breath no longer.
Listen and feel the wind.
A new day is upon us,
spin, spin, spin.
Worry not, my dear.
A new day is finally here.
Lifts your arms high,
let your worries soar away.
Is that Aslan calling?
Or only a siren…
Listen to that inner voice,
“This is your time, my child,
do not waste it,
do not rush it,
it is my gift to you.”
Slowly, carefully, I put it to rest.
The thoughts, the feelings, of yesteryear.
Holding them so close that it hurts…
Give them up?
Truly, truly, that which you hold too tightly is not really yours.
Let it go.
In and out.
Feel your sanity returning.
Dream more freely.
Do you ever have a premonition that something beautiful is about to unfold?
Something truly marvelous?
Hold on tight, and come along for the ride.
Hold close to the promises pressed upon your spirit.
The Lord is going to do something truly great.
I can feel it.
I can sense it.
Hold on tight, it’s on the way.
You have no clue what’s headed your way.